Taking an optimism pill

I apologize for my expletive rant earlier.  I just had my heart set on having a few back up embryos and was crushed when I discovered 8 of them hadn't made it.  My husband tells me that I worry too much and that I need to be more optimistic.  So I'll give it a go.  I can choose to dwell on the loss of those 8 embryos or I can focus on the little guys I have currently.  Right now, I choose to believe that the two in my uterus are burrowing in and making a home for the next 9 months.  

I'm choosing to be optimistic.   

Tonight in the musical episode for Grey's Anatomy, Meredith admits that she felt jealous of Callie while at the baby shower.  Anyone dealing with the pain of infertility can relate to Meredith's anguish.  While struggling to survive, Callie sings an incredibly powerful song.  It was "The Story" by Brandi Carlile.  For some reason, it spoke to me.   I've put the Sara Ramirez version here.


"The Story" by Brandi Carlile

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you