Limbo

Today I visited with my GP.  I was supposed to get my tetanus shots but we decided to hold off.  I informed the office that I thought I was pregnant so they asked me to do a pregnancy test with their office so that they would have it in their records.  

Well, their test came back negative!  Negative!  Does everything have to be such a roller coaster ride for me?  I did 3 HPTs and all 3 were positive.  How is this possible? 

 I'm trying not to fret. The doctor felt positive about it.  She did send me off to get my beta tested but still, it's quite disconcerting.  How can the tests be so different? Is this "pregnancy" all in my head? 

 I'm trying to be positive. A few years ago, a friend of mine had positive home tests but at her doctor's office, it was negative.  Her daughter is now 2 years old. So I'm holding on to hope as that's all that I really have at this point.  

I'll be sure to post my blood test results tomorrow.  

Cross your fingers for me. 

Say a little prayer.

Send out positive energy.  

Please. 

Wake up!

Yesterday we had a lovely evening with our in-laws.  It was my niece's 17th birthday so the family just got together for cake and coffee.  When she was born, my husband's brother, Lucky, would often pressure us about having kids.  Our retort?  "By the time we have kids, Alex will be able to babysit them."  Little did we know how true those words would prove to be.  

Today was another early wake up for a drive into the city.  If I hit the road by 7:10am at the latest, the traffic is fine.  Just a few minutes off and it turns ugly.  Today I left at 7:12am and could sense that I was on the cusp of a very nasty early commute.  Thankfully, I was able to manoeuvre myself through the traffic and to my destination without too much difficulty.  Since my last ultrasound did not demonstrate the follicle cornucopia that I had hoped for, I was rather anxious about my results this morning.  After all, they put me on a "high responder protocol" yet, I am not responding as well as I had last cycle.  I love the u/s nurse - Rav.  She is just a dear.  Every morning, no matter what, she always greats me with a huge smile of her face.  She just oozes this warm maternal quality.  I expected Dr. R to do the u/s, as he was in the clinic and actually set up the machine, and was surprised when Dr. A walked in.  From my understanding, he is a new doctor on the unit.  Since my clinic is in a teaching hospital, I wonder if he's doing an RE rotation or something.  Who knows?  He was nice and quite thorough in his examination.  

Finally it appears that the right side has finally woken up a little bit and decided to join the Puregon party.  Though most of my follicles are still 10mm or under, they are growing.  I have 6 on my left and 7 on my right.  As I mentioned previously, on my CD 5 last time, I had 25.  By the end of the whole cycle, there were 22 follicles and they extracted 14 eggs.  How many eggs will they find with only 13 follicles?  This huge difference in response is disconcerting to me.  Dr. R entered the room once the u/s was finished and I asked him whether I should be concerned or not.  After looking over my follicle progress, he stated that was not concerned and reassured me that there are follicles there and they are growing.  That's the positive news.  

So, now I just have to wait and see if I have to alter my medication in any way.  Dr. R. did intimate that I may have to increase my dosage.