Normal girl.
There was nothing wrong with the little bean.
So what went wrong?
Did I do something wrong?
Thinking the pregnancy was non-viable I did dance at the teachers' conference party. I didn't drink. But I did dance. Could that have done it?
A normal girl.
Sigh.
Just because she was genetically normal doesn't mean you did something wrong so don't blame yourself. I'm very sorry to hear this, it must bring it all back and I'm sorry for that too.
ReplyDeleteI had the exact same result when I had my m/c last June. Rips your guts out and drives you nuts racking your brain with the whys and what ifs. In my case, I switched REs, who did the RPL panel (even though I only had the one loss) and immune panel. The b/w didn't show a giant red flag, just some borderline numbers that could "maybe" indicate an issue and a MTHFR gene mutation. The new RE put me on lovenox (blood thinner), special 4th generation folate, and also intralipids infusions starting before our next IVF transfer. Who knows if any of that changed the game for us, but something worked and we have our babies home with us now when NOTHING worked before. Like I said, nothing was specifically wrong, but the RE said "what the hell, let's throw everything at this and get you pregnant." It's tough, but we chose to look at the "normal" result as a source of hope. It meant my eggs weren't funky because I'm old and we still had a shot- we just had to figure out the missing piece. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, though. I will continue to pray for your miracle. (IrishEyesOnBaby)
ReplyDeleteI agree - it wasn't anything YOU did. Dancing - no way that could have caused the loss. I don't think there's much of anything you could have done to cause it. It just sounds to me like there's something else wrong.
ReplyDeleteSending you huge hugs.
I am sorry that the test results have raised more questions. It is definitely nothing you did - so do not beat yourself up over it. You can find some comfort in knowing that you produce good embryos which is a really encouraging sign. My RE told me long back that issues can be caused by sperm, egg or uterus, you may want to look into any undiagnosed uterine issues. Sending you lots of care.
ReplyDeleteOh honey I know that confusion of hearing "normal girl". I got the same from my 2nd miscarriage.
ReplyDeleteFirst - IT IS NOTHING YOU DID!! Always know that.
Second - When it is a girl it is easy for them to miss something. Your tissue (and you are a normal girl) can be mixed in and what they test doesn't show abnormalities that still might be there. The diagnosis is easier when it is a boy.
I too had an RPL panel done. I have 2 mutations of the C strain of MTHFR.
I have followed a protocol with Lovenox, Intralipids and folate...I have not had success but I agree that doing it can only help and not hurt.
I'm sending hugs and more hugs...this is not your fault!
Kanis, I am so so sorry! We all know that you did nothing wrong. Life just sucks sometimes. I am sending you lots of love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteThis is certainly not easy news. Please don't blame yourself. I did it too. You shouldn't have to deal with this loss and guilt. Sending you hugs.
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