I think I've been in a good head space since my BFN. I haven't contacted the clinic to make an appointment for January yet. I better get on that soon. With them being short an RE, I wonder if that will increase wait times. While treatments have been the furthest from my mind, getting pregnant is still front and center. I've been tracking my cycle and monitoring all the bodily aches and fluids that we're supposed to monitor. Sweets and I are still hopeful that things will work out for us.
With all the pain and turmoil this process has caused, I'm endeavoring to capture my white whale. Isn't that a fitting metaphor? Infertility is our Moby Dick. Infertility viciously attacks our psyches, destroys our confidence and threatens to rip us apart. I don't want to be Captain Ahab. I don't want to obsessed to the point where is destroys who I am.
So, as a result, in an effort to maintain my sanity, I hope you don't mind if I mix my blog up with not only musings on my fertility journey, but also with thoughts on my profession. I've been really exploring and reflecting on myself as a teacher. My goal is to make my students into well educated, thoughtful, empathetic individuals. As a result, I've been changing the way I do things. The way I assess my students; the way I deliver the curriculum. Or perhaps, I'll just create another blog to think these things over. I'm not sure.
The only thing I am sure of is that I'm not going to let that White Whale drag me down to the bottom of the ocean.
I mix work and fertility in my blog becasue it's easier for me and my infertility really does seem to impact everything (and a blog about my work on it's own would be frightfully boring).
ReplyDeleteI really get the sense that you're a great teacher just to think about how you can do things to make the experience better for the students. This is the way people should be but they aren't all and so this is what makes you special.
I've never read Moby Dick so now I've just downloaded it for my Kindle.
Kanis, I think it is a great idea to include some other aspects of your life to the blog. You are obviously very passionate about your profession and I will enjoy hearing your thoughts and ideas. Your students are very lucky :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is your blog- it encompasses your life which just unfortunately at this point centers on TTC. BUT you can put anything you want on it. Actually I always have random thoughts and descriptions in mine. Because it is my space to express myself. I'd love to hear about your teaching thoughts. It's reaching the time of year when I am worrying if I have taught them anything. :-(
ReplyDelete