Reboot

I've surprised myself.  I've bounced back from this failure much better than last time. Perhaps it's because I didn't allow myself to "go there" completely.  Unlike the first time where I started naming babies and visualizing myself talking to my progeny, this time I tried not to think about it.  I didn't come up with a decorating scheme for the nursery or consider buying baby clothes at all.  Don't get me wrong, the BFN hurt like a mo fo' but I think I was better prepared for it this time.  I just hope this is the last time I have to deal with disappointment.  I don't know how many times I can rebuild or guard myself before I completely lose myself. 

My WTF appointment is on the 26th.  I emailed my RE to let him know that it failed and wanted to know if I was going to be doing my FET at the new or old clinic.  He replied quite promptly and informed me to continue at the old clinic for now.  Sweets was supposed to come with me but the day after I made the appointment, he was given a work contract.  If you've been following my blog at all you'll know that Sweets has had a tough year for work.  This is the first contract since May.  As a result, I'm more than willing to go to the appointment alone.  

The first week of school went well.  This semester I'm teaching English 10, Social Studies 11 and History 12.  In the Socials and History class, I know the majority of the students so there's this comfort and sense of familiarity already.  That can be both positive and negative.  Positive in the sense that we know each other, and negative because we know each other.  Thankfully I have a lot of wonderful kids to work with this year.  

Friday ended on an exciting note with the minor earth.quake.  We all know that the lower mainland is prone to earth.quakes and we've all been told to expect the big.one. one day.  I was just in the middle of a lesson on nationalism when one of my students said, "Do you feel that?"  When I stopped walking, I was overcome with a sense of dizzy and nausea.  My body swayed back and forth.  It wasn't violent but just enough to make everyone in the class feel woozy and a little scared.  Once it registered in my mind that it was an earth.quake, I told them to get under their desks and I went to call the office.  The office staff felt nothing.  They thought I was joking.  With my students still freaking out, I went next door to my colleagues room, she felt nothing but a couple of her students felt it.  It appeared that only pockets of the school felt the tremors.  Later on I found that the earth.quake was the same intensity as the recent one in New Zealand.  Thankfully it was far below the surface and just off the into the ocean.  Though my lesson plan was shot and the students were a little frightened, I think the most positive thing that came out of this is that when we do our drills in the future, my students will take it more seriously.

There's a lot of time between now and my WTF appointment.  For now, I'll just enjoy the late summer heat, get to know my students better, and hope that by Christmas I'll be pregnant.