Person Vs. Self

When teaching short story elements to my students, we review the different types of conflicts.  Stories typically have one or more of the following:

• person vs. person 
• person vs. society
• person vs. nature
• person vs. supernatural 
• And last but not least, person vs. self.  

Dealing with infertility is all about the internal, person vs. self, conflict.  Which is why I found it funny that my RE recommended an antagonist protocol.  Infertility has definitely been my antagonist these past few years.   I'm assuming that the 2ww after egg transfer will be the climax, or the point of highest tension, in this story of my life.


Our IVF consult today was hopeful, overwhelming and a wee bit confusing.  At first we thought that our issues were as a result of male factor, but after today, it appears we're just one of those couples with "unexplained infertility".  He really didn't see why we could get pregnant.  Anyway, looking at all our of results, the RE recommended split IVF/ICSI with an antagonist protocol.  


The next few months will be a combination of oral contraceptives and injections.  Starting my next cycle, I'll be on birth control pills (BCP).  Then I'll be taking either Gonal F or Puregon to stimulate my ovaries for about 8 days.  At some point in that time frame, I get a shot of to suppress an LH surge (ovulation).  Then when the eggs are ready to go, I get another shot which completes the maturation of the eggs.  Soon after that, Sweets and I go into for the retrieval.  They take out my eggs, and he provides a sample.  Then they do their magic in the lab.  If all goes well, we'll have about 10 eggs.  Five will go through the IVF process - one egg, one dish, sperm.  Five eggs will have ICSI done - a sperm injected into the egg.  We're looking at a day 3 transfer.  


Overall, the doctor said I have about 30-40% chance of pregnancy.  Now, it doesn't seem like a lot but a regular, fertile couple has a 33% chance of pregnancy every month.  So really, it's not that bad.  I just hope we'll be carry the little pumpkin to term.  That'll be the scariest part I think. 

This is what 10 mm looks like.

Anyway, back to today.  Sweets and I were in the waiting area.  It was surprisingly quiet, though the girl next to me was obnoxiously loud.  You know one of those people who is a loud talker because she wants every one to hear?  While doing her questionnaire, she read every question aloud.  "Do I suffer from depression?  All the time."  "Is my movement limited?  All the time!"  Ugh.  Soon enough our RE came and called us.  I love my RE.  He's hilarious.  A good sense of humour but he gets right down to it.  After talking about the protocol, he took me back for a physical, an ultrasound, and a mock transfer.  Everything went well.  Apparently I am right ovary dominant.  My ovaries had about 6-8 follicles each.  Now, I thought that there should only be one or two in each?  Anyway, he didn't seem concerned.  The follicles were about 10mm in size.  Is that good?  Bad?  I have no clue, but as I said, he didn't seem concerned.  


We then met with the nurse who walked us through some of the paperwork and medications.  She also gave us a quick tour of the facility.  


So the countdown starts once again.  The thing about infertility is that there is a A LOT of waiting.  And sadly, time is not on our side.