Oh. Come on!

I know that IVF messes with your cycle.  I know this, but man am I frustrated/worried/concerned that I haven't had my LH surge yet.  Since CD 11, I've been using clear.blue to monitor my ovulation and have been testing.  There's been a faint second line since that first day, but it appears to be fading.  WTF?  Fading?  Did I ovulate super early?  I did experience increased CM about 3 days ago but that's reduced now.  Am I not going to ovulate at all?  Tomorrow is CD 16 and it's my last testing strip.  Just ovulate already! 

On Friday we had our staff "welcome back" party at a colleague's house.  About a month ago, one our colleagues married.  With marriage inevitably comes the question, "When are you going to have babies?"  I think she handled it well.  Others were joking, "Oh you'll be pregnant in a year."  And she said, "Only if it's a surprise."  Another lady popped up and said, "Aren't all babies a surprise?"  The majority of the women started to agree and I felt compelled to say something.  "No not really.  Not all babies are surprises."  Some of my close friends at work know what we're dealing with but this lady is the wife of a colleague so she has no clue about my fertility struggles.  For some reason she felt the need to repeat, "All babies are surprises."  And once again I said, "No.  Not all babies are surprises.  Some are incredibly planned."  Thankfully the topic shifted to something else after that.  I truly hope my friend doesn't have any issues conceiving when she finally makes the decision to do so.  Infertility is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.